Saturday, October 15, 2016

Stay with me here, Trump supporters

Hi. This is to Trump supporters.

You dislike Hillary. You're not alone. I get it. But if you really hate Hillary, you need to hate Trump even more.

He stole your nomination and now he's giving the election to Hillary. Think about it.

If I was a strong Hillary supporter, I suppose I should say "Thank you." Because there probably isn't another person on the planet that could make people that were otherwise against Hillary, vote for her. For Trump's part, there probably isn't another democratic candidate either that would have enabled Trump to actually be a remotely viable candidate, to say nothing of actually leading in legitimate polls at one point.

Only Hillary could pull that off. 

But now, his time has past. He's not going to win. Did he ever even want to win? I don't think so, but that's a conversation for another day. Either way, he is the best thing that could have happened to Hillary. If you hate Hillary, you should hate him even more for that.

Three reasons I actually want Trump to win now

This presidential election is the biggest mess in my lifetime. The whole thing smells of a rat.

John Oliver captured it best when he pointed out the parallels between Trump's situation and a 1996 children's book "The Kid Who Ran for President," where the kid ultimately gives a rant speech rebuking the electorate for voting him into office.

I have a question for the grown-ups of America ... Are you out of your minds? Are you expecting me to enforce the constitution? I never even read it. I was absent from school that day. Would you really want me as Commander In Chief of the armed forces? What if somebody attacked the United States? Would you really want me in charge? America must be in really bad shape if you elected me president. You better get it together and find some qualified people to run this country or we'll all be in big trouble.

And South Park's "Giant Douche vs Turd Sandwich" series has been brilliant.

Forgetting for a moment that, under a Trump presidency, the economy would crash like ...

... and he probably would start world war three.

Other than that, here's why I'd like to see him win.

1. I would love to see Trump squirm

As John Oliver pointed out, and as I've said from day one, Trump would be miserable as president, when he finds out what the job is really about.
... because then he actually has to run the country. And that means living in government housing, conversing with fully clothed women, and traveling in a plane that doesn't even have his name on it.

And South Park's version:
The second Mr. Garrison (The Giant Douche, Trump) realizes he has an actual shot at winning this election, he panics over his lack of a plan and starts self-sabotaging

2. The look on Hillary's face would be even better

If she lost this election, maybe she would finally give America the rant she thinks we deserve for not letting her have it in 2008 like we were supposed to.

It would be epic. Rampage on.

3. Maybe we'd actually get a clue as to how fucked up we are

And this is the important thing. You can't blame the Trump phenomenon on Trump or on rednecks. We have a bigger problem. Trump isn't the problem. We're the problem, liberals and conservatives and moderates too. If people are angry enough at "elites" to convince themselves that a “racist voodoo doll made of discarded cat hair” is fit to be president, things are bad. If evangelicals, or at least white evangelicals, can see a twice-divorced casino owner as the holier choice, even after the video surfaced in which he was recorded lewdly bragging about having made sexually inappropriate advances to married women... things are bad, really bad.

Donald Trump proves the GOP can put up pretty much any candidate, with any flaws, and not lose support from their base. Of course the deep disgust for Hillary Clinton doesn't hurt.

Hillary will be a "placeholder" president, leaving the door open for the next Trump, and there will be one. If Trump actually won, we the people might actually do something about this two-party nightmare, a corrupt DNC and a dysfunctional GOP, that leaves most of us in the cold.

Hillary, swing and a miss

Just when we thought things couldn't get worse this election season, we get the soul crushing catastrophe of the second debate.

It was a town hall format and the first audience question was about 'Modeling Appropriate Behavior For Today's Youth?'

This was on opportunity for Hillary. It was a softball she could have hit out of the park. But, predictably, she offered a classic non-answer of rambling campaign talking points. Imagine if, for once, she could have set the talking points aside and got real, along these lines:

"You're right. At times, the last debate could have been rated as MA, for mature audiences. And for my part, I apologize for that. There is no place for it in presidential debates, debates, we must remember, between people seeking the highest office in the land. We are supposed to be the adults here and when it takes the wisdom of children to tell us that we're acting like children, we should listen. I apologize and I promise to do a better job of showing how we, as civilized people, can have wildly differing positions and points of view and still maintain a level of quality discourse."

But robotic Hillary didn't do that. Instead, she didn't say a damned word to that question and just rattled off a laundry list of campaign positions. A swing and a miss.

Maybe there is such a thing as too much preparation.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Trump: Looking beyond the obvious

We all know what he his - a self-promoter first and foremost - but that is not the important thing. With Trump's support surviving this deep into the election cycle, we have to look beyond the obvious.

What his support speaks to is a great disdain for the corruption and dysfunction of proper politics. Nobody is going to stop supporting Trump because they catch him in a lie. That would be like telling them that pro-wrestling is fake. You miss the point. Of course Trump lies - his supporters know it and they don't care.

Democrats sit on a high horse but they're just doing the same thing with the pretense of protocol and decorum - they are lying and stealing and pandering the old-fashioned way. But really, they are more alike than different.

I sent Bernie money. But is he really even close to what we think he is, or what we want him to be? Probably not.

I don't have the answers either, of course.