Saturday, October 15, 2016

Three reasons I actually want Trump to win now

This presidential election is the biggest mess in my lifetime. The whole thing smells of a rat.

John Oliver captured it best when he pointed out the parallels between Trump's situation and a 1996 children's book "The Kid Who Ran for President," where the kid ultimately gives a rant speech rebuking the electorate for voting him into office.

I have a question for the grown-ups of America ... Are you out of your minds? Are you expecting me to enforce the constitution? I never even read it. I was absent from school that day. Would you really want me as Commander In Chief of the armed forces? What if somebody attacked the United States? Would you really want me in charge? America must be in really bad shape if you elected me president. You better get it together and find some qualified people to run this country or we'll all be in big trouble.

And South Park's "Giant Douche vs Turd Sandwich" series has been brilliant.

Forgetting for a moment that, under a Trump presidency, the economy would crash like ...



... and he probably would start world war three.



Other than that, here's why I'd like to see him win.

1. I would love to see Trump squirm

As John Oliver pointed out, and as I've said from day one, Trump would be miserable as president, when he finds out what the job is really about.
... because then he actually has to run the country. And that means living in government housing, conversing with fully clothed women, and traveling in a plane that doesn't even have his name on it.

And South Park's version:
The second Mr. Garrison (The Giant Douche, Trump) realizes he has an actual shot at winning this election, he panics over his lack of a plan and starts self-sabotaging

2. The look on Hillary's face would be even better

If she lost this election, maybe she would finally give America the rant she thinks we deserve for not letting her have it in 2008 like we were supposed to.


It would be epic. Rampage on.

3. Maybe we'd actually get a clue as to how fucked up we are

And this is the important thing. You can't blame the Trump phenomenon on Trump or on rednecks. We have a bigger problem. Trump isn't the problem. We're the problem, liberals and conservatives and moderates too. If people are angry enough at "elites" to convince themselves that a “racist voodoo doll made of discarded cat hair” is fit to be president, things are bad. If evangelicals, or at least white evangelicals, can see a twice-divorced casino owner as the holier choice, even after the video surfaced in which he was recorded lewdly bragging about having made sexually inappropriate advances to married women... things are bad, really bad.

Donald Trump proves the GOP can put up pretty much any candidate, with any flaws, and not lose support from their base. Of course the deep disgust for Hillary Clinton doesn't hurt.

Hillary will be a "placeholder" president, leaving the door open for the next Trump, and there will be one. If Trump actually won, we the people might actually do something about this two-party nightmare, a corrupt DNC and a dysfunctional GOP, that leaves most of us in the cold.



0 comments: